Moments of Connection
When thinking of “self-care,” it can seem an optional indulgence, or an excuse for those being neglectful of others or using the term as a ticket to get out of responsibilities in parenting, partnerships or giving 100% at work. Yet, strategically carving out space in your daily and weekly schedule will block off time to breathe, reflect and recharge. It’s necessary space for healthier rhythms conducive to creativity and renewal.
But what about the “daily grind” or “hustle” that’s the key ingredient to success? If I could just get up earlier or stay awake later, I could finally keep up (or catch up) with what’s GOT to be done.
Working Harder = More Success.
Not necessarily.
What if productivity, with all the to-do’s in our schedule, has less to do with “more” and more to do with rest. Of course, a “good night’s rest” is a given. Sleep is an integral component to overall health and wellness. But it could be that delegation, simplification and designated times for play and wonder are missing pieces to the puzzle of zest and vitality.
Things for individuals, couples, families and organizations to consider:
1) Take time to connect
Beyond the quick text, post or family sit-downs, be sure to create space for the simple things: a homemade meal, a reading nook for the kiddos, sitting down on the porch swing, or some screen-free time.
2) Invest in one another
Beyond "this for that" (quid-pro-quo) bargaining, remember that at the heart of connection is affective (emotional) consideration. How do our words, attitude and actions affect others? Your needs and those of your family (or business, which is likely somehow connected to people) do not center merely on what's most "effective" in the moment (e.g., "If it gets the job done." or "If they'll just behave," etc.). This may be the case at times. But, overall, the driving power of our connectivity, put simply, has to do with loving responsiveness. A smile, kind words, strategic resources to meet a need, an embrace of a loved one or simply your presence. Let those around you sense their (intrinsic) value in how you relate to them - how you invest your time, energy and resources in their well-being. As I tell my kiddos, “My love for you has everything to do with who you are (becoming), not just in what you do."
3). Think small
Beyond the platforms of performance that may come your way, it’s faithfulness and consistency in everyday choices to relate well (to self, others and our world) that help us remain mindful of what's most important. It anchors us. I’m all about building, exploring and dreaming BIG. Yet, we might miss the joy and beauty of the journey if we let moments of connection slip on by. I’ve never witnessed someone at the end of their life tearfully exclaiming, “If only I’d had more letters behind my name or more cars in the garage or more accolades.” The good news is that we don't have to wait until the end to begin seeing clearly the treasures around us, oftentimes hidden in plain sight.
Here's the kicker, though. The demands or wants of others will always do just that – demand or want from you. And given the interconnectivity of everything around us, as well as the accessibility of persons by "notifications" from all sides, we can find ourselves amidst dizzying busy-ness with little room to breathe, ponder, reflect, or recalibrate.
You don’t have to please everyone. You don’t have to do everything. You don’t have to miss moments of meaningful, substantial, significant connection.
